What a Punderful Life
by chandeluresinitaly
Summary: Po spends the whole day telling puns. This made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. (TL;DR a silly fanfic full of terrible puns)


I haven't written fanfic in 3000 years. Let's do this.

* * *

Warm sunlight shone through the bedroom as morning surfaced. Which is surprising enough considering it was the winter season and it's been pretty cloudy as snowy weather had been blowing in, but suppose the people of the Valley of Peace are lucky on this particular day of nice weather. Whatever. Who cares about the weather right now. Anyways.

Po was spending the night at his father's restaurant for the holidays; ever since the whole event that happened with the Creed of the Masters dinner, Shift has been _slightly_ lenient about Po's duties and allows him to do as he pleases when it comes to the holiday season. It made the Dragon Warrior one happy panda, for he was able to bring Mr. Ping everywhere around the Jade Palace so he could be included in the awesomeness that transpires. But this year, it had been quite a busy season for the restaurant, so they decided to take it easy and spend a quiet night after hours.

And in that quiet peace, Po had a lot of time to think.

And he thought a lot about one thing, and one thing only.

As the sun beams slowly crept across the floor of his room and onto his sleeping face, he was awakened as well as the plan that he had brooded over all night. A big grin grew on his face as soon as he opened his eyes.

Po got up from his bed and walked out of his room, still beaming as he strolled down the stairwell. He could hear his father in the kitchen already at work, running around chopping vegetables and flinging them into a boiling pot. Now that the holidays were over, Mr. Ping was back to the normal work day. Little did he know that his normal work day would start off different then others.

Because he would unknowingly be Po's first victim in a whirlwind of puns.

"Oh, good morning Po!" Mr. Ping said as he stirred his pot full of noodle soup. "I'm glad I'll at least be able to see you before you head back to the Palace."

Po let out a chuckle as he picked up a bowl. "Yeah, I really hate to _eat and run_ , but duty calls."

Mr. Ping must've been too distracted by his cooking, because there wasn't much of a reaction. "Well, you could at least eat something before you leave!" he replied as he moved around the kitchen. "I know they feed you well over there, but nothing will ever beat my food."

Po rolled his eyes as he walked over to pour soup into his bowl. "Not to _stir the pot_ , but I've been really _using my noodle_ in the kitchen lately so you might just have to take that back."

Mr. Ping turned to his panda son with a suspicious look on his face. "Where's all of this coming from?"

"Well Dad, the holidays may be over but it doesn't mean I have let the _winter blues_ get to me."

The old goose shook his head. "You're so silly, it makes me wonder how that Master of yours hasn't gotten sick of you already. You know, with that temper and all."

"As much as I love hearing you honk about Shifu, I oughta get rollin' outta here," Po said as he downed his bowl of soup.

"You're not that round, son. Tell your friends I said hello!"

—

It was nice to be back at the Jade Palace. All the servants were bustling about, cleaning up the Palace after recent festivities. But Po didn't particularly care about them, oh no, his true targets on this fine day were his dear friends, Master Shifu and the Furious Five.

Po strode down the halls of the grand building, peeking through as many open doors as possible to encounter the next victim in his Vicious Pun Storm of Pure Amazement. Or. Whatever else he might be calling it, probably something corny along those lines, who knows.

Po would soon find himself stopping in the palace kitchen. Pretty weird how he always just ends up in here, but it can't be helped. But for this specific moment, he wasn't in here to cook lunch or stress eat. No, Po noticed Monkey and Viper making something at the stove. He was worried for the reason as to why they were trying to cook; he's had their cooking before and it was a disaster. They always mean well, but there was a reason why he was usually in charge of making food for everyone. Viper and Monkey couldn't help but jump when Po announced himself.

"Po! Thank goodness you're back home!" Viper exclaimed after she retrieved the ladle she managed to fling across the kitchen out of shock.

"Hey good lookin', what's cookin'?" Po replied as he moved towards them.

"Oh stop it, you. Anyways, we were hoping to surprise you with a home cooked meal, but I think Monkey and I missed a step."

"I'd say you guys are stepping to the beat of the recipe, because judging the stench from that pot it's as if you're dancing with Death."

Monkey and Viper just turned to stare at one another while Po began laughing hysterically. He was laughing so hard, he had to hold onto the edge of the dinner table for support. He then calmed down once he noticed they weren't laughing with him.

"Oh come on, was that last one a stretch? I did do all my morning exercises."

Monkey just shook his head. "Po is back, that's for sure."

That comment was what finally got Viper to let out a giggle, much to Po's disappointment. "You should go find Master Shifu, Po. I'm sure you need to let him know you've returned," she told the giant panda. "We'll just get some help from one of the palace chefs, and we'll let you know when the food's ready."

Po let out a sigh. "Oh, right, yeah. Shifu. If I haven't grilled myself already on this stove, he's gonna grill me verbally for not seeing him first thing." He gave the two a wave before exiting the room. As Viper and Monkey returned to their task, they both had a good laugh.

"He seems in a good mood."

"But Shifu won't be if Po unleashes more of those awful puns!"

—

As Po ran down the halls once again searching for his master, he ended up bumping into Crane and Mantis along the way. Mantis was chilling on top of Crane's hat when he noticed Po looking around.

"Hey, big guy! Over here!" Mantis shouted out.

Once Mantis got Po's attention, however, he was unaware of the situation he had just put Crane and himself into. Crane, on the other hand, suspected something was up. The three of them shared hellos as they walked towards each other.

"Oh, Master Shifu's been wondering when you'd show up," Crane said. "He said there was something important that he wanted to talk to you about."

"Since the holidays are over, I bet he's got some missions lined up for us." Mantis added.

Po snorted. "Well, here's to hoping it's a mission briefing and not him biting off my head as usual, am I right Mantis?" he replied, followed by another fit of laughter. Crane let out a quiet nervous chuckle, but Mantis stayed quiet. Crane's suspicions were unfortunately coming true, and he silently pitied Mantis for bearing the brunt of it.

Mantis was still glaring once Po's laughing ceased.

"Oh. Was that a bit much?"

"We'll see you later, Po."

—-

Po had eventually encountered Shifu, but decided to hold off on the puns during their discussion for a few reasons. One, Shifu spent most of the "conversation" berating him for not returning to the Jade Palace in a timely manner. Two, after the awkward moment with offending Mantis, he didn't want to make things worse with someone as tense as Shifu. Then three, he had a hard time thinking of any new puns because he was distracted by Shifu's yelling.

Feeling rather defeated, he set out for the last member of the Five he hadn't seen yet. She must be by the Sacred Peach Tree right now, Po thought to himself. Tigress usually hung out there to meditate after the holidays so she could clear her head from all the revelry. Sure enough, as he walked up the steps outside he spotted her sitting by the base of the tree and viewing the scenery.

Without movement, she acknowledged his presence. "Welcome back, Dragon Warrior. I presume you and Mr. Ping had a lovely holiday together."

Po let out a sigh as he sat beside her. "I can't even call it a holiday, cuz Dad had me working to the bone," he replied. Tigress gave Po a small smile as she turned to face him.

"And yet you're back to us all in one piece, so it couldn't have been too bad."

"Well of course it's always a good time, especially since I get to watch my uncle snort noodles out of his nose every year. He's got a mean sniffer that doesn't work well with his laughing fits."

Tigress chuckled softly and shook her head. "It's always a good time whenever you're around, Po."

"Except right now, apparently!"

"What makes you say that?"

"I figured everyone would be feeling bummed out now that the holidays are over, so I tried to make them laugh with some cheesy puns. But I think they need some work."

Po seemed very disappointed in his failed attempt to cheer up their companions. Tigress knew how much it meant to him that he made his friends happy, so she felt it was only fair to try and return the favor. The two were quiet for a moment while she tried to think of what to say.

Then, an idea.

"Well, it can't be helped, Po. After all the _panda_ monium that happened here while you were gone, everyone must not be ready for more." she said.

Po looked up at her and blinked for a moment, then there was laughter.

"Oh man, that was super corny! How'd you come up with that?" he asked through his chortles.

"Now you know how we feel when you open your big mouth," Tigress replied.

Po pretended to be offended while Tigress herself began to laugh.

Well, at least somebody appreciated his sense of humor.


End file.
